The Wars of the Roses and Zombies

Since SonjaMarie over at the Historical Fiction Online forum drew our attention to this upcoming novel, entitled Queen Victoria, Demon Hunter, it has occurred to me that there’s a market out there begging to be filled: namely, the Wars of the Roses told as they never have been before.

This possibility is so exciting, I’m practically hopping off my typing chair. Think of how long Cecily, Duchess of York, lived. Yet how much do you hear of her in her later years? Clearly, she must have been a zombie–doing her son Richard III’s bidding. And her sister Katherine lived well into her 80’s, opening even more possibilities: The Zombie Neville Sisters. Either as a standalone or a series, this is a story that begs to be written.

Of course, if you’re going to have zombies, you need to have zombie hunters, which could put a whole new spin on Buckingham’s rebellion.

But, you may ask, if there’s a place in the Wars of the Roses for zombies, surely there’s one for vampires as well? Never fear. What do you think Edward IV and William Hastings were really up to when they were romping around London together? How delectable Eleanor Talbot’s neck must have been! And did Richard III finally give way to his own vampiric nature when his brother died? Well, there is actually one source that claims that the unfortunate princes in the Tower were bled to death. Need I say more about how this could have been accomplished? And how better to explain all of those unaccounted-for years of Perkin Warbeck?

Unfortunately, I’m not terribly up on the lifestyles of the undead, so I’m going to need some help executing this series. Yup. I need a ghost writer.

18 thoughts on “The Wars of the Roses and Zombies”

  1. This is making me see the death of Anne Neville in a whole new light. Married to a vampire, it's no wonder she was so weak and sickly.

  2. Susan Higginbotham

    Indeed–everything in this period makes perfect sense when you see it from a zombie/vampire attitude.

  3. There is already a witches/magic angle with Elizabeth Woodwille and her mother being involved–why not do a deal with J K Rowling to show EW at Hogwarts? A vampire angle does make sense, since Vlad Tepes was a contemporary of the House of York. And wasn't there a Tiptoft or someone who was fascinated by Vlad's methods of torture?

  4. Brilliant. 🙂 History is so fascinating, isn't it? Especially when there are zombies and vampires. 😀

  5. Elspeth Antonelli

    Suddenly it all makes sense! It's also an explanation of why Richard III's portrait looks so pale…

    Elspeth

  6. O-M-G!!! This is brilliant and goes far to explain all of medieval history. What of Margaret Beaufort and Henry Tudor? What of Edward II and William the Conqueror? Why stop there? Perhaps Count Dracula went back in time to the Roman's first entry to England? As for going forward in time, no problem, he only had to hang around.

    Maybe the "history" should be written by that ever present side-kick, Igor. Yeah, he'd make a fine narrator. After all, he was there.

  7. I think I have an idea for a good 'ghost' author who has past experience in putting a new spin on vampires. Although, which one of our historical guys is going to get the "whoa…volcano of honey" line?

  8. Devaki

    You're absolutely right – John Tiptoft, Earl of Worcester -finally got the chop himself. Not only fascinated but copied only he had to go one better or should I say worse

    I thought Igor was Frankenstein's sidekick. Now there's a thought. If Tiptoft and Frankenstein had lived at the same time they could done a nice line in mass produced zombies

  9. I guess I have absolutely no sense of humor about this, but all I can say is, it's bad enough when you have Pride and Prejudice With Zombcccciesc. Enough is enough already
    Anne G

  10. Richard III could be a werewolf. I mean, that might explain the hump that he is sometimes portrayed with. He was captured part way through his transformation.

  11. Richard Lionheart as were-lion, as suggested in the comments on Sharon Kay Penman's blog.

    There must be a whole bunch of them around, what about Heinrich 'the Lion' Duke of Saxony- why did he marry Richard's sister? Of course, they needed to keep the bloodlines true. Now, consider that the House of Welfen still exists today, plus has provided England with a bunch of Hannoverian Kings …. 🙂

  12. I think I prefer vampire to zombie – strictly the difference in the way I think of two. I must have seen too many really b-a-d- zombie movies as a child whist vampires have always had that pseudo-erotic hint.I have a feeling that there may be a new Higginbotham line of novels!! Huzzah!

  13. For the record the author of 'Queen Victoria Demon Hunter'is A E Moorat about whom I could ascertain no information at all hardly surprising given that the word is out that A E Moorat is a nom de plume. What I have been able to ascertain is that the publisher is Hodder and Stoughton and the book is due out on 15th October.

    I don't know how many subscribing to this blog know about a popular UK TV sci-fi series called 'Doctor Who'. Suffice it to say that in one recent episode the Doctor saved QV from a particularly nasty form of assassination, the modus operandi being a werewolf.

    You'll never guess who else is down on the list of being a vampire hunter – Abraham Lincoln! Could it be a case of confusing Lee(Robert E) with Lestat?

    If you wish to know more about how the undead are becoming involved with history log onto the following website
    http://chaptersbookdublin.blogspot.com/2009/08/undead.html.

    I'm not the only person to have made the Doctor Who connection. I only wish I could be a fly on the wall on Tuedsay – today is a public holiday in the UK – when some unsuspecting H&S employee opens the(e)mail box.

    Wicked Wilson? Trish the Terror, the bogeywoman who on Halloween treats unsuspecting kids to a trick they'll never forget. You'd better believe it!

    That reminds me time to give my fangs a makeover and my brooom a MOT. Looks like I could do with some help from L'Oreal seeing as my skin hitherto the shade of deathly pallor is looking more like caffe con latte. Well I am worth it am I not?

  14. Just finished Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter. Very enjoyable and funny. AE Moorat appears to be the nom de plume of Andrew Holmes, but I cannot determine whether it is the same one who wrote Sleb.

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