Rick Santorum’s Queenly Pick: Mary I

From a newspaper article I read today:

Madison, Wisconsin—She’s known to us today as “Bloody Mary.” But for Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum, she is a woman to be esteemed.

Speaking at a campaign stop at the University of Wisconsin, Santorum, when asked by a student questioner whether there was a historical woman he particularly admired, cited the first reigning Tudor queen. “First, she had strong religious principles, and she wasn’t too politically correct to act upon them,” said Santorum. “Second, she got married, unlike her younger sister Elizabeth, who didn’t think she needed a man to help her rule. Mary understood the importance of faith and family in a way that Elizabeth never did.”

Asked his opinion of Mary’s policy of burning Protestants, Santorum said, “You could argue—and I will argue—that Mary’s strong moral convictions were preferable to this wishy-washy notion of tolerance that the left has, where Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, goddess-worship, paganism, and atheism are all of the same value, are all points of view to be allowed. Where has that led us? Into a moral cesspool.”

Santorum, who has said that the notion of separation of church and state makes him want to “throw up,” hastened to add, “That’s not to say that I believe Mary was one hundred percent correct in burning Protestants. There are certainly decent Protestants, then and now, though I can safely say that if Mary had seen the state of the Anglican Church today, and of mainline Protestantism in the United States, she would have probably burned more of them.”

The candidate looked thoughtful when asked by another student whether he would support burning nonbelievers and non-Christians in an effort to purify the condition of religion in the United States. “Besides the obvious spiritual benefits, burning these people at the stake would have the side effect of bringing down the unemployment rate, both by reducing the surplus population and by putting right-thinking Americans to work ferreting out heretics, but as it stands now, it’s probably illegal under the Eighth Amendment. Until we get that amendment and the First Amendment tweaked a bit, we might just have to settle for singeing people.”

For the video of Mr. Santorum’s appearance, see here.

This entry was posted in Humor, Seasonal. Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to Rick Santorum’s Queenly Pick: Mary I

  1. Kavita says:

    What the F! Burning people to bring down the unemployment rate? Well, that certainly is a novel idea. Even Mary herself did not think of it as she struggled to handle economic depression in her time. I am seriously shocked.

    • Anne says:

      I am not shocked at anything that vile man says,just more disgusted by him every day. I have said many times he would like to turn the clock back for us females five hundred years-and he just proved it once again. Yuck!! And to top it off,Mary is my least favorite of the Tudor rulers-so,yet another thing I disagree with Lil’ Rick about.

      • Kristie says:

        You guys didn’t bother to click on the link to find out that this is an April Fools’ Joke? You should always verify things you read. Great joke, Susan.

      • Kristie says:

        Didn’t mean that to sound “holier than thou”. I meant my last comment tongue-in-cheek, because I’ve fallen for these types of things before, too!

  2. Philippa says:

    People like Rick Santorum crop up in every walk of life, they have strong principles themselves but usually find it very difficult to accept that someone else with equally sincere convictions can hold a different opinion. His comments about people who practice a faith other than mainstream Protestanism show just how rigid his thinking is and how intolerant he is of anyone who might be presumptious enough to think differently to him.
    As a single woman I find his comment that Mary understood she needed a man to help her rule deeply patronising. His comments about the family are offensive to me, not everyone can be in a loving marriage or have a supportive family network, are people like me who have no choice but to make our own way in the world less moral or less valuable in society.

  3. Rio says:

    You had me for a minute until I clicked play the video. Good one or I should I say scary one Susan. Happy April Fool’s Day.

  4. Misift says:

    😀

  5. All politics is schizophrenic these days…Santorum clumsily alleges that Obama’s environmentalist worldview amounts to a theology. It does in fact. It’s well known as the so called Gaia hypothesis and is old as the primordial ooze.
    On the other hand, Santorum is wont to piously intone that the US must bomb Iran now. What is this but a warped Armageddonist phony theology?

    Unfortunately, unless the people garner enough sense to reject such lunacy from both sides, I’m afraid the pox (or perhaps better fallout,) so to speak, will be on all our houses.

  6. gaye mack says:

    As a native of Wisconsin and very familiar with the very liberal University of Wisconsin, I”m wondering what the energy was like in the crowd….more interestingly, if Margaret George was home, I wonder what she thinks! This man needs serious therapy…

  7. Julia says:

    Nice one, Susan. 😀

  8. Lady Grey Mare says:

    Joke or no joke. I would not put something like that past this man. Santorum is the kind of individual who is not in this race to make the country a better place. Santorum is on a religious mission and that makes him an unacceptable candidate for President, especially in a country like America which was founded on religious freedom. He is not someone who should have the nuclear codes.

  9. Sharon says:

    Okay, very funny. My blood pressure was going through the roof! I almost couldn’t finish the article. Wouldn’t put any of this past him.

  10. Anne Barnhill says:

    Why does this man speak? Goddess help us all.

  11. Mary R says:

    The fact that people believed this even for a moment speaks volumes about the candidate, doesn’t it?

    • shtove says:

      Does it?

      i guess whatever volumes it speaks are vomited forth by internet bigots.

      • Mary R says:

        One thing I will say for Rick Santorum is that he does tell you where he stands. The trouble is, his stands scare the shit out of a lot of people.

  12. Vicki Sobota says:

    I would like to point out the obvious that this entire post was an April Fool’s Joke. This was NOT a real interview!

  13. Sharon says:

    The sad part of this is the fact that until I realized the date, I completely believed this and was ready to go look for the actual article. It’s not that far-fetched. Good joke 🙂

  14. Trish Wilson says:

    I still prefer the Rick Tertius gag. Absolute classic!

  15. Trish Wilson says:

    The thought of Rick Santorum becoming the next US Prezzy is already making me ill. As they say this side of the pond ‘ When America sneezes we all catch a cold.’

    On the other hand I wonder what our Rick would make of the recent return to Parliament of George Galloway Saddam’s buddy who got in on a Muslim vote. Believe it or not there’s not much difference in some of the views held by these two men.

    • Mary R says:

      I couldn’t agree with you more. Rick Santorum and many of his ilk would like to see America turn into a theocracy and often bring up the founding fathers to support their position.

      Interesting considering the treaty of Tripoli, signed in 1796, states: As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Musselmen; and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.”.

  16. Mary Tod says:

    They have said that the pen is mightier than the sword. Perhaps this is why so many women write historical fiction – they are creating a different perspective on history. Imagine 100 years from now writing about men like Santorum. Our ancestors will have a field day 🙂

  17. Trish Wilson says:

    The founding fathers travelled to America in order to be be allowed to practise theiir faith without fear or hindrance. So why four hundred years on are people like Rick Santorum not prepared.to uphold that for those of others faiths – I understand he’s a Catholic – or those or no faith at all?

    Mary R has mentioned the Treaty of Tripoli 1796. Even more important was what was happening in Fance at the time when the then regime had finally decided to seperate state from church. Even now France epouses the secular view – recently a law was passed prohibiting Muslim womem from wearing the veil in public. It’s not yet happened in the UK yet some MPS have already expressed concern about dealing with constituents whose face they cannot see..

  18. Trish Wilson says:

    What really grates with me is what both the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the Euopean Convention of Human Rights failed to specify. That no human being has a right to impose his or her beliefs on another.