In Which Boswell Takes Over This Blog for the Evening

An open letter to Trouble the Dog.

Trouble, so now you’re a multi-millionaire. But face it, it can get lonely there in the Big Apple. So here’s a suggestion for you, from one canine to another:

Come stay with me in Apex, North Carolina.

It’s good here in Apex. Every Saturday and Sunday morning, Dad goes out and buys me a sausage biscuit at Biscuitville. (Do they have a Biscuitville in Manhattan? I rather doubt it.) And I’m sure with you in the house Dad would have no trouble at all buying two biscuits, one for me and one for you, seven days a week.

And then there’s Mom. Mom spends most of her time staring at a computer screen or with her nose in a book, but she’s cool in her own way. She’s not the type who has a fit if a guy whizzes on the bushes once in a while. (I mean, sometimes you just have to go. Right?) Mom likes having me sleep with her and Dad at night, and I’m sure it wouldn’t be any trouble (ha ha) to accommodate you as well. Heck, we’d probably buy a king-size bed so everyone would be comfy. And she’s pretty reliable about handing out treats at night after my last walk.


So you’re wondering, what’s it like in Apex? Well, let me tell you, Apex is a great place for a dog. Oh, sure, it’s a bit hot here in summer, but it can get pretty hot in New York too, you know. And we don’t get the really cold weather that you guys up north get, so you don’t have to worry about taking walks when it’s bitterly cold. (Dog to dog now, don’t you get tired of wearing those sweaters in February? Be honest.) Oh, and there’s a dog park in nearby Cary where we can mingle with our own kind (a pass is required, but I think you can afford it).

Now, it’s true that New York has some things that Apex doesn’t have, like theater, opera, ballet, and art galleries, but let’s get real. We’re dogs. We don’t need all of that high culture–we’ve got rear ends to sniff.

Yup, I think it’s a real dog’s life in Apex, North Carolina. And I’m positive that once you’ve given it a try, you’ll agree. So just have your trustees drop Mom an e-mail. She’ll be checking daily.

Your new friend,

Boswell

11 thoughts on “In Which Boswell Takes Over This Blog for the Evening”

  1. My mum’s dog Tara wants to know if she can come and stay with Boswell, too? She’s fed up with the weather in England, and she’d quite like to visit the US. Would Boswell be willing to welcome a girl dog?

  2. Susan Higginbotham

    Boswell’s an unfixed male (and a virgin!), so he would be more than willing to meet Tara.

    We’d solve the crowding problem by moving into one of the McMansions nearby–couldn’t have Trouble or anyone else feeling cramped, of course!

  3. Susan Higginbotham

    Hi to you, Barklee, Angel, and Fred! No word from Trouble yet . . . I don’t understand . . .

  4. Susan Higginbotham

    Gabriele, Boswell does indeed has his priorities straight. Eat, sleep, sniff, piddle . . .

    Casey, loved the letter! But I’m not sure now if Trouble has the proper Apex attitude . . .

  5. Well, if it’s an open invitation I’m sure Minnie and Bert would be happy to visit Boswell! Oh, and hugs from me to Boswell too.

  6. Boswell is adorable! I think he and my Welsh corgi, Paris, would like each other; she’s quite fond of unfixed males. She is, however, quite the princess as she enters the seventh year of her reign. It’s her universe and I put food and play ball with her in it. Sounds like another Paris we know, doesn’t it?

  7. Susan Higginbotham

    Alison and C.W., Boswell would love to see Minnie, Bert, and Paris. (At least this Paris will never have to be bailed out of jail at two in the morning.)

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