So what are some famous folk (and some lesser known beings) asking for as Christmas presents? Fellow blogger Nan Hawthorne and I have devoted some thought to this burning question:
Ethelred the Unready — a day planner
Alfred the Great – an oven timer
Aethelflaed, Lady of the Mercians – for Bernard Cornwell to get me right in his novels
Harold Godwinson – Edward the Confessor’s will in writing.. or not
Godiva of Coventry – super hold hair spray
Offa of Mercia – a really butch dyke
Ivar the Boneless – need you ask?
Aethelwald, son of Ethelred – primo genitor.
Lawrence of Críslicland – for a certain Breton mercenary to take a long walk off a short pier
William Rufus — A new archery set.
Edward I: Scotland.
Piers Gaveston: Just something handmade. No, really! Well . . . if you insist, jewels are always appropriate.
Isabella of France: My jewels back.
Hugh le Despenser the younger: Whatever someone else is getting.
Roger Mortimer: Hugh on a platter.
Edward II: Fodor’s Guide to Italy. Or some Sears Craftsman tools . . . or a craftsman.
Edward III: France.
Edward IV: Getting to Yes.
Elizabeth Woodville: An agreeable second husband who will be nice to my large family.
Richard, Duke of Gloucester: Something round and gold and shiny that fits nicely on my head.
Henry Tudor: Something round and gold and shiny that fits nicely on my head.
Margaret Beaufort: Only the best for my darling, sweet Henry.
Elizabeth of York: My mother-in-law to go on a long pilgrimage. Preferably to the Holy Land.
Henry VIII: 6 free sessions of marriage counseling.
Anne Boleyn: Morning sickness.
Katherine Howard: Someone around my own age to pal around with.
Katherine Parr: Widow’s weeds.
Boswell the cairn terrier: Mom to get off her duff and take me for a walk.
Ginny, Onslow, and Stripes: A wing chair apiece so we don’t have to share them with those presumptuous two-legged beasts and that irritating dog.
Happy holidays, all, and thanks for suggesting this, Nan!