I saw in the news today that President Obama is proposing an expansion of his stimulus plan, which includes a program called “Cash for Caulkers” for homeowners who weatherize their residence. (This follows upon the “Cash for Clunkers” program from a while back.)
I think these are excellent programs, but they ignore an important segment of the public: book lovers. So without further ado, here are some stimulus programs that I’m sure readers of all political stripes can agree upon:
“Bucks for Books.” To shore up the ailing publishing industry and encourage literacy, an incentive that gives tax breaks to those who spend more than $1,000 per year on books. The more books you buy, the bigger the tax break.
“Cash for Kindles.” Encourages the growth of the e-publishing industry by putting a Kindle into the hands of everyone who hasn’t succumbed to its lure yet. (For those who prefer Barnes and Noble’s e-reader, there could be an alternative program called “Nickels for Nooks.”)
“Breaks for Bookshelves.” Makes the costs of new bookshelves tax deductible, thereby getting new bookshelves into the hands of all Americans who are still living with those cinder-block contraptions from their college days or who are having to double-book their existing shelves.
“Pennies for Plantagenets.” An exciting new program that offers up to $3,000 in matching royalties to any writer who publishes a book-length work of fiction about a dynasty other than the Tudors.
I’ll be home all day tomorrow if the White House wants to give me a call. And I won’t even expect an invitation to the next social gathering–no, no. I’m doing this solely as a public service to my country.